Friday, August 18, 2006
The lovely language called English!
I always get reminded of this joke whenever I hear people discussing the nuances of English as a spoken and written language.
Japanese are known to be patriotic and their love for their mother tongue continues till their death. The Japanese president(lets call JP) once was invited by Mr Clinton for a visit to U.S. Now being bad in his spoken skills, JP was to be accompanied by an Interpreter - to make things easier. This lady wanting to make JP more comfortable, said to him that when you meet Mr Clinton you should ask "How are you?". Mr Clinton will reply he is fine and will ask you back "How about you?" and you should say "Me too!".
Our Innocent JP incidentally upon meeting the US President asks him "Who are you?"
and he replies "Who me?... I'm Hillary's Husband Ha Ha Ha! and How about you?"
To which our guy replies " Me too Ha Ha Ha?"
And here is one of my alltime favorites :
During a witness, the attorney called his first witness - an elderly woman to the stand.
He asks whether she know knows him.
And She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife; you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a scavenger. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across theroom and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.The judge summoned both the attorneys closer to him, and said in a very quietvoice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your butt in jail for contempt.”
Now having said the above two jokes, what I emphasize here is that english as a language is not, that tough as most people would be imagine! Its a lovely language - because this is one language where you can easily understand jokes. If you really want to learn a language then it's important to be able to understand the jokes told in that language. This is especially useful in English because jokes form an important part of any language. But of late English has started to a derive lot from its other companion languages, that people are struggling hard to understand this language. If you think English is easy or tough, then I'd suggest you to answer these questions with an Yes or No
1. ________ Have you stopped beating your wife!
2. ________ I dont have brain
3. ________ Im a stupid
4. ________ I dont have sense
Ok and If you folks are wondering what relevance that Bush picture has here- then please proceed further to read some of the top aw(ful)some jokes-statements made by Bush!
1. I'm here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and Planes will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport (thank god he was not in the bathroom, otherwise he would have said bathroom and men with brief's will be cleaned inside!:))
2. Too many doctors are getting out of business. To many Obstetrician-Gynocologists arent able to practice love with women across the country(No wonder there are to many lesbians now!)
3. Our enemies are innovative and powerful. They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our country and people, and neither do we!(Actually what he meant was our enemies dont have brain and neither do I)
4. The ambassador and general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. We will find these people and bring them to justice!(Wah Wah! What a man!)
5. "Wow! Brazil is big" After being shown the map of Brazil by Brazilian president in Nov 2005.
I always get reminded of this joke whenever I hear people discussing the nuances of English as a spoken and written language.
Japanese are known to be patriotic and their love for their mother tongue continues till their death. The Japanese president(lets call JP) once was invited by Mr Clinton for a visit to U.S. Now being bad in his spoken skills, JP was to be accompanied by an Interpreter - to make things easier. This lady wanting to make JP more comfortable, said to him that when you meet Mr Clinton you should ask "How are you?". Mr Clinton will reply he is fine and will ask you back "How about you?" and you should say "Me too!".
Our Innocent JP incidentally upon meeting the US President asks him "Who are you?"
and he replies "Who me?... I'm Hillary's Husband Ha Ha Ha! and How about you?"
To which our guy replies " Me too Ha Ha Ha?"
And here is one of my alltime favorites :
During a witness, the attorney called his first witness - an elderly woman to the stand.
He asks whether she know knows him.
And She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife; you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a scavenger. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across theroom and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.The judge summoned both the attorneys closer to him, and said in a very quietvoice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your butt in jail for contempt.”
Now having said the above two jokes, what I emphasize here is that english as a language is not, that tough as most people would be imagine! Its a lovely language - because this is one language where you can easily understand jokes. If you really want to learn a language then it's important to be able to understand the jokes told in that language. This is especially useful in English because jokes form an important part of any language. But of late English has started to a derive lot from its other companion languages, that people are struggling hard to understand this language. If you think English is easy or tough, then I'd suggest you to answer these questions with an Yes or No
1. ________ Have you stopped beating your wife!
2. ________ I dont have brain
3. ________ Im a stupid
4. ________ I dont have sense
Ok and If you folks are wondering what relevance that Bush picture has here- then please proceed further to read some of the top aw(ful)some jokes-statements made by Bush!
1. I'm here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and Planes will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport (thank god he was not in the bathroom, otherwise he would have said bathroom and men with brief's will be cleaned inside!:))
2. Too many doctors are getting out of business. To many Obstetrician-Gynocologists arent able to practice love with women across the country(No wonder there are to many lesbians now!)
3. Our enemies are innovative and powerful. They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our country and people, and neither do we!(Actually what he meant was our enemies dont have brain and neither do I)
4. The ambassador and general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. We will find these people and bring them to justice!(Wah Wah! What a man!)
5. "Wow! Brazil is big" After being shown the map of Brazil by Brazilian president in Nov 2005.
