Gone are the days when bell bottoms were a fashion - today's fast paced world has invariably resulted, (thanks to all the heavenly junk food) in your belly outpacing your career growth exponentially twice as much faster and drooping around like an alien with disfigured scales!
When I started my career a little more than 3 years ago, I was the lousy lad avoided by most girls( they do now too maybe thats for a different reason duh :)! ) for being the skinny lad I was at 145 pounds( close to 65 Kgms) , and now as I look back I'm staggering past with ease up at around 160 pounds( 72 kgms). And If I continue to outpace my growth at this rate, then I wouldnt be surprised if I end up being called the "gigantic extra-terrestrial software engineer" in my neighbourhood, looking like someone as below :)
Continuing on similar lines, I started thinking on what the potential advantages of having a belly could be, or what could be the benefits of extremely large belly's - Read further for a fun intended post, no offense meant to anyone, so read through it and have fun!
1. You become good in numbers and equations The more the crevices of your tummy explode, the more aware you are of what you eat. And this is when you start imagining your tummy as the one that is bloated 10 times the size of a thirupathi ladoo. And as you start analyzing the percentage of flab increase in your waist - little do you realize that your analytical skills improve a lot that, you become the state-of-the-art analyst at your workplace!
2. You start appreciating the value of things If thaali or the mangalsutra is for womans sanctity, then belts are for mens pant-tighty! This is one small step where you really start appreciating the value of even the smallest things(starting with the belt) around you.
3. You learn dancing As you walk around your neigbhourhood, you realize that your tummy shakes and trembles like a sky-scraper hit by an earthquake. Though this resembles a little like the Brazilian samba dance, you invariably get interested in dancing, and dancing is one of the best ways to cut down your stress. But just keep an eye on neighbour hood dogs - to them your tummy does not look like a Samba dance, its like a live meat out of Sambhar!
4. You make people happy by showing how to roar with laughter The Newtons law of Projectile motion states that "A projectile is an object which once projected continues in motion by its own" Now applying this law to our tummy( hey dont apply this to anything else:)), once when you start laughing the tummy starts moving slowly 90 degrees up and down, and then as you start roaring with laughter uncontrollably, the belly moves in a wild turbulence at 180 degrees, thereby providing a good exercise to the whole of your body!
5. Help people in controlling temper There are a few kinds of people who start throwing things due to uncontrollable temper. This is where all ya guys with huge belly's can help. Whenever such people are in fervent temper, take them for a walk in the woods. Then both of you need to stand 500 yards apart, and all you need to do is raise your belly at 45 degrees and ask the other fella to aim and throw things at your belly. Dont worry the chances of them hitting your belly is grim, but if at all they hit, the elasticity of your belly is so great that it will bounce the object back again!
6. Help parents and entertain Mischevious Kids Most kids today are so mischevious that parents find hard to control them. Here is when your belly expertise can help - the moment kids see your belly, they get fatally attracted to it thinking it as a tabla and start jumping around it or simply think of it as a couch and fall asleep! This way you also get a free massage!
7. By holding your breath, you practice breathing yoga Ever wonder why when people with huge belly's walk to office they gasp for breath - its becuase they are holding their breath so that the 306 degree view of their belly is reduced by 180 degrees. For all those who have tummy - here is a trick to stop people from staring at you: Everytime you walk to office keep singing Berlin's "Take my breath away" and if the opposite sex cross by, he/she will think you are singing about them and smile at you - you can smile back secretly thanking your belly for taking your breath away!
Finally watch this video on how a lady whistles with her belly - just awesome!